Posted by: Carlos | July 4, 2009

R.I.P. Lt. Mike Stone

In a country and culture where so many have grown up under the influence of television, it seems that every generation of college students and young post-college adults has films and television programs that it claims as “it’s own”.  Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Napolean Dynamite, Law & Order, Lost, and The Office are some examples.  In my early-1970s college generation, one of those programs and my personal favorite was “The Streets of San Francisco”.

It never really mattered if your films and shows were good, bad, cheesy, or formulaic, they were yours.  There was something about “The Streets” that drew us in.  Maybe it was the long-hair, wide ties, low-ride slacks, and “hipness” of Michael Douglas contrasted against Karl Malden’s old school, World War II-generation man.  Perhaps it was the many views of the city itself, with its Victorian houses, fog, hills, and bay views.  Whatever it was, it worked for us.

I was reflecting on these things after I read about the passing of Karl Malden this week at the age of 97.  While Michael Douglas (Inspector Keller) was portrayed as TV’s idea of cool – which by our standards, automatically meant that he wasn’t, Karl Malden (Lt. Mike Stone) was the real deal.  He was a no nonsense, in your face type of guy whom we were probably drawn to because he embodied characteristics we had seen in our own fathers.  They were men tempered by the experiences of the Great Depression and the second world war who often looked upon us, their sons, as privileged and to some extent – pampered.  Despite their differences, the mentoring relationship between Stone and Keller – with all its banter and misunderstanding, was something I think many of us longed for.

If you had to, you watched the show alone (better than missing an episode); but the preferred routine was to watch it with friends, complete with running commentary and plenty of unique “Streets” humor – especially about Karl Malden’s nose.  We used to discuss the camera angles and lighting used to keep other actors from falling under the shadow of his nose, etc.  The show was also great because you knew exactly how it would proceed: four acts of approximately 12 minutes each, commercial breaks of about 2 minutes between each act, and the closing Epilog (why no “E”?).

A local station (KOFY – TV 20) is currently running the entire series – all 119 episodes – at 11 am each weekday.  Sometimes I’ll indulge myself in a bit of nostalgia and record an episode on my DVR to watch at lunchtime (I work at home).  Some old shows are so outdated that they just don’t “work” in modern times.  Other shows, like “The Streets”, live on – providing you take them in measured doses.

Rest in peace, Karl Malden.

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Posted in Culture, San Francisco

Posted by: Carlos | July 3, 2009

While I was away…

If you’re still with me after my recent six-week hiatus from writing, thanks for stopping by.  I’ve been pretty busy lately and have come to realize that while I live mostly in my mind, in a world of thoughts and musings – much of what’s “usable” gets consumed by my family, in working with a wide variety of clients, and in church-related ministry.  This leaves very little time and space to think other thoughts and write them down.  Perhaps I’m not really a writer at all – just a dabbler, since I don’t seem to have any real “compulsion” to write.  Who knows?

I’ve also become increasingly aware that as we get older and have less energy, it’s more tempting (and easier) to look backwards – interpreting the present by reflecting on the past; instead of continuing to push into the future, where the horizon gets closer every day.  One of my consistent prayers is that God would continue to give me energy to engage the world – so that I don’t turn into an “old codger” who mostly pontificates on the past and rarely engages the present.  I know it’s a stereotype…but it’s a real concern to me.

One thing I do know about myself is that I’m an avid reader.  It’s one of the great blessings of my life to see that this trait has been passed on to my eldest daughter Rachel.  Yesterday, we had a “Dad and Girls” night at home while my wife was away.  We decided to watch a movie together, so I let Rachel pick.  About an hour in, she suddenly announced that she didn’t want to watch any more and went to her room.  A few minutes later, I heard her reading aloud to the dog…happily immersed in her latest book.  When my life gets really busy, as it has in recent weeks, I usually find solace in reading books that offer an “escape” from the world.  In that regard, the book I’m reading this week is something akin to a comfortable old shoe.  Written by Patrick O’Brian, it’s entitled “The Commodore” and it’s the seventeenth of twenty-one books in his “Aubrey/Maturin Series”.  I won’t bore you with endless details, but suffice to say that the series focuses on the British Navy in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries – around the time of the Napoleonic Wars.  They are written in the language of the time, complete with all the nautical terminology common to sailing ships of that era.  In fact, the terminolgy and language are so difficult to access that the publishers eventually deemed it necessary to issue a lexicon, so that readers could look up phrases, terms, etc. to increase their enjoyment of the books.  It’s hard to describe, but once I get into it, I’m onboard their ship – seeing, smelling, and feeling everything they do.  I know I’m gushing…but it’s a truly “liberating” experience for me.

Anyway, I’m glad to be back with you.  Blessings.

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Posted in Musings on Life, Personal

Posted by: Carlos | May 18, 2009

A Life Worth Loving

Early this morning, I grabbed a cup of coffee, sat down at my desk, and came to the realization that I’ve now been blogging for almost 18 months. Back in December 2007 when I first started, I wrote about my daughter Shana in a post entitled “Not a Creature was Stirring“. The story recounted how prior to her birth, our recurring prayer was that she would be a person who could both give and receive love in tangible ways. In that regard, we have never been disappointed. This past Friday, I was brought to tears by yet another example of Shana negotiating a “love exchange” – this time mostly with strangers.

The Special Olympics of Northern California and the San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSD) have joined forces to bring special olympics directly into the schools, through the School Partnership Program. On Friday, May 15th, the program’s annual track and field meet for special needs kids within SFUSD was held at Kezar Stadium. By the way, this isn’t the Kezar Stadium featured in the original “Dirty Harry” movie, which was also the home of the San Francisco 49ers for many years. That decrepit old place was demolished many years ago and rebuilt in a more functional configuration that now hosts football, soccer, lacrosse, and track and field events.

This year, Shana and a friend from her class were selected to be the “torchbearers” for the opening parade.

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As a parent, I found the the dedication, care, and love expressed by the volunteers, paraprofessionals, and special education teachers who conducted the event to be overwhelming. All parents want to see their children loved and accepted by others, but it’s especially true for those of us with special needs kids. Events like Special Olympics are a way of “offsetting” the stares, whispers, and social awkwardness that often accompany people’s interactions with children like Shana. For at least one day, our kids are celebrated and made to feel special by others.

A perfect example of this was something Shana received last week. Our daughters attend different schools and Shana qualifies for transportation services (school bus). This year, we were able to arrange for the morning bus to pick her up at her sister’s (Rachel) school instead of at home. At Rachel’s school, there’s a paraprofessional who supervises the inflow and outflow of special needs kids to and from buses. Every morning and afternoon, he’s out there “working the sidewalk”. Over time, he’s gotten to know Shana – even though she doesn’t attend his school. When he heard that she was going to be a torchbearer for the Special Olympics event, he made up a sign and presented it to her immediately after the opening ceremonies.

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Just to prove that I’m not immune to being an “over the top” parent gushing about his kids, here’s two final photos of Shana participating in the “Shot Put” – actually a softball toss!

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Shana’s ability to freely give and receive love – unconditionally, remind me again and again how few “essentials” there really are to life. She’s not a burden – she’s a blessing!

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Posted in Family, Musings on Life

Posted by: Carlos | May 7, 2009

Loosen your grip !*!#@*#!

CAUTION: GOLF TERMINOLOGY AND IMAGERY IN USE. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Several days ago, I was at the driving range doing a “full bag” practice session. It won’t surprise those who know me to hear that I have a set practice routine on such days. I start by hitting 12 balls with my 9-Iron, 12 with my 7-Iron, and then 8-10 balls each with my 5-Iron, Hybrid, and 5-Wood. Next, I pull out my driver and hit at least 12 balls with it, then proceed backwards – hitting 8-10 balls each with my 4-Iron, 6-Iron, 8-Iron, and Pitching Wedge. If I struggle with any particular club, I’ll hit more balls with it until I feel comfortable. When I’m done with my “regular” clubs, I hit any remaining balls with my Sand Wedge and Lob Wedge. The idea is to maintain a good feel for ALL the clubs in my bag – because I never know which one I’ll need to use in a critical situation on the golf course. I also try to work in regular sessions at a short-game practice facility, where I focus on chipping, pitching, playing out of the sand, and putting. At my level of play (11-12 index), I can’t always count on hitting the ball where I want to, so a decent short game is essential to scoring well.

Because golf is an individual sport, you can tell a lot about players by watching them practice and by how they conduct themselves on the course. I’m constantly amazed by people who come to the range, don’t loosen up or stretch, immediately grab their driver (the most difficult club in the bag to hit), and begin banging balls in rapid succession. There’s no work on any kind of preshot routine (GASP: Grip, Alignment, Posture, Stance), no focus on rhythm and tempo, or even on “warming up”. It’s just bang, bang, bang – get it done so that when things go bad out on the course, I can claim that I don’t know why because I was “just at the driving range working on my game” :-). I can’t tell you how many people I’ve played with over the years who lug around a full bag of clubs but use only a few of them because they “can’t hit” the others…or people who absolutely kill their driver, but have no “touch” and can’t hit anything inside of 175 yards. I’m not talking about “occasional” golfers who don’t practice and are just out for some fun, sun, beers, cigars, etc. I’m talking about people who claim to take the game seriously. Yeah, yeah…I may be a “golf snob”(as my wife says) but I just don’t understand wasting precious time and money on a game that’s already frustrating enough – even for professionals.

At the driving range, I usually pick a slot adjacent to the teaching pro with whom I work. When he’s there doing a lesson, I can often pick up handy “tips” and reminders. He doesn’t mind because I’m also one of his “students” – not a freeloader trying to get something for nothing. The other day, he was working with a man whom he repeatedly had to admonish for “choking the club to death”. It was like a mantra: “loosen your grip, relax, loosen your grip, relax, loosen your grip !*!#@*#!”. A mantra is supposed to create or foster transformation. In this case, I’m not sure if his student got it, but I certainly did.

I will openly admit that I’m a borderline Type A personality. As such, I have to constantly remind myself to “loosen my grip”. A few days after listening to my golf pro’s mantra, I went out to the course and resolved to loosen my grip (literally) on my golf clubs. Miracle of miracles! Tightening one’s grip causes all kinds of other muscles in the body to seize up – in my case, this includes my jaw. How am I supposed to relax and hit the ball when my whole body is “puckered up”? Needless to say, I played well that afternoon. Apparently, I’ve been bringing my stress onto the golf course and allowing it to dictate how I play the game (both physically and mentally). Is it any surprise then, that I’ve haven’t felt very “refreshed” lately after playing golf?

There’s a fellow I play with pretty regularly at my home course, Gleneagles. He’s a former professional football player who’s around my age and has two characteristics that are noteworthy to me. Out on the course, we say that he has “almost no pulse”. By that, I mean nothing ruffles him – good shots, bad shots, he just keeps plugging away – on an even keel emotionally, not wasting one bit of energy. The second characteristic is that when things get tough (competitively), he seems to have another “gear” that kicks in – allowing him to play even better under pressure. Over time, I’ve come to realize that his experience as a professional athlete allows him to conserve energy, even in the midst of playing, so that he can utilize it exactly where and when it’s needed. Perhaps if I can learn to consistently “loosen my grip”, I can do the same – on the golf course and in life.

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Posted in Golf Reflections, Musings on Life

Posted by: Carlos | April 16, 2009

It’s an IKEA world after all

For over 40 years, kids visiting Disney’s Magic Kingdom Theme Parks have unwittingly been exposed to the ”one world” mantra through the ”It’s a Small World” attraction (a boat ride). I can’t remember the last time I was in there, but the lyrics of the constantly repeating theme song are still fresh in my mind today…”it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all, it’s a small, small world” (Yikes!).

DIGRESSION:  This reminds me of something I once heard an old preacher say. He dismissed people’s claims that they couldn’t memorize Biblical passages with the following retort: “How many songs by your favorite musical performers can you sing in their entirety, from memory, years after they were first released?”

Now that I’m an adult, I’ve found that one of the best examples/expressions of globalization and the “one world” theme is at an IKEA store. Like the “Small World” attraction, you enter at one end and after a serpentine passage through a bewildering assortment of retail “attractions”, you emerge at the other end – where a small restaurant awaits you. By then, you’re suffering from sensory overload. You’ve had to serve yourself at each stop along the way and grappled with crowds of people whose cultural notions of space and propriety are different from yours. On top of that, you may still have to go down to the self-serve warehouse, pick the large items you want off the shelves, and figure out how to get them in or onto your vehicle for transport home. [By the way, remember to bring your own rope or cords - the free twine they have at the loading dock is pretty much worthless, particularly if you have to drive home on the freeway.] At this point, the restaurant and its tables seem like an oasis in the desert. You think, “maybe I’ll just stop here and rest for a few minutes”. The next thing you know, you’ve convinced yourself to have something to eat and/or drink because with all that still awaits you (including the dreaded “assembly”) – who knows when you’ll get a chance to stop and eat? Big mistake – you should have just “powered through”. After negotiating the labyrinth, having an intense cross-cultural experience, and filling your stomach, you’re ready for a nap – certainly not for what still awaits you.

I love to work with my hands and have a strong “mechanical” aptitude and an innate ability to follow detailed instructions. As such, the phrase “some assembly required” doesn’t strike terror into my heart as it does with so many others. IKEA takes it to a completely different level – eliminating the “some” and leaving the stark – “assembly required”.

As soon as you open the box, it’s back to the “one world” theme. The information sheet is a fan-like  foldout written in 15 languages. In keeping with the theme, the assembly instructions are iconographic (all pictures, no words). They begin by showing what tools are needed and then encouraging you to have someone help you with the assembly – because after all, no one wants to be unhappy (see below)!

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Because I usually have no one around who can “really” help me with the assembly (some of you know exactly what I mean), I typically start by reviewing the instructions and then devising some sort of “rig” that will allow me to complete the process alone. This was the case last week when we purchased a bed for my daughter Rachel and a separate “mattress support system” (in lieu of a box spring mattress) that came in over 100 pieces and when fully assembled, was the length and width of a twin bed. As in the television commercial, I can truly say that completing the assembly with no spare parts left over and seeing my daughter climb into her new bed, surrounded by her new bedding – was priceless.

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Posted in Culture, Family

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