Land’s End

This morning we attended a childrens Christmas program at our church – with the same title as this post. It was an hourlong presentation, mostly involving singing, that was masterfully directed. I don’t know about you, but as a parent I can’t think of any other term (except perhaps, miraculous) to describe the process of keeping twenty-plus 6-11 year olds focused and on point for an hour, while onstage in costume. Amazing as that was, it’s not what I wanted to write about today.

Shana, our 10-year old daughter who has Down syndrome, was part of the production. Whenever I go to see her perform, I invariably come back with a cloud of ambivalence hanging over me. I’m happy because she has sufficient social skills to participate – albeit, not at a high level; but I’m also sad because I wonder how long it’s going to be before she’s left completely behind by the normally-developing kids in her age group. Is she going to want to hang-out and perform with 7-8 year olds when she’s 12?

Back in the summer of 1997, we learned of Shana’s condition before she was born. We went through the typical process of questioning, grieving, and ultimately – acceptance. In the end, we decided to pray for only one thing…that God would allow Shana to be a person who could both feel and express love. In that regard, we’ve never been disappointed. Those who know Shana see her as a warm, loving girl – completely fearless about expressing her affection. Having seen our one true desire come to pass, we should be happy – right? Yes, but……we live in the real world where it’s hard for children with special needs to find true friends. Shana will continue to be included in activities and loved, particularly by family, friends, and our church community; but what will happen when she begins to realize her differences and in some cases, limitations? How will it make her feel? Such are the thoughts that work their way into my head at times like these.

I find it interesting that the issue is surfacing again at this time of year. You may think it trite or simplistic, and you’re certainly entitled to your opinion, but I know that I have someone I can take this concern to - someone who completely understands what it’s like to feel isolated and alone, as He was in the last hours of His life - someone who’s birthday we celebrate at Christmas. For me, Christmas is Merry because I know I’m not alone in facing the struggles and trials of life.

Shana’s 10th birthday party – Dec. 4